Keep Trying

Seed just came home from work. He works at a labour agency as a sales and promotion manager. He gets paid fairly okay. Just enough to live. When his editor in Bellinghem responded to his email with the query letter that Seed wrote based on a guideline that the edit gave, Seed got really frustrated. The editor, she told me that it was not very good. Another $50 per hour editing fee? He's already paid enough money to her. Whenever he corrected the mistakes that she thought they were, she sent him emails with invoices, based solely on her own calculation. If she said that she worked on his work for 10 hours, then it is. There was no doubt or argue. Seed trusted his editor. Why wouldn't he? But if she fixes the same chapters over and over again, you may start doubting. I did but Seed did not. He might have been convincing himself that she was trust worthy. He needed to hold onto his belief. That's how he has survived his past. I know and I understand that but it is very hard to witness him everyday trying and trying without a clear outcome.

Seed's labour agency makes money off of daily workers, that are drug addicts and people with conditions. I am not judging them but it is irony that the owner of his company may have to go to a rehab because of his drug addiction. The rich man didn't know how to handle much money other than buying cars, houses and drugs I assume. I don't pity him. I think that he is lucky. Lucky enough that he didn't have to live a life that the people who make him money have to live. Am I making sense? :) Now he wants to make more money by charging workers $3 for renting construction safety gears. "WOW" How creative business model! From a business major perspective, very impressive!! F-him.

Some people may think that I'm just jealous of those rich people. Yes I am jealous. But I am more upset that my boyfriend, Seed, who constantly keeps trying to achieve his dream, can't even afford to buy a ladder to step up. Not even one step up. Isn't Seed trying hard enough? I don't think so. We have been in a relationship for 5 years in 10 days, except 26 months apart because of my army duty in South Korea. While I have know him, he spent  4 to 5 hours working on his books, websites and articles for three years. That is some serious hard work I believe.

He just asked me to come and read his 7th edited query letter. It sounds amazing. It is getting better and better. Now he came to back to who was, enthusiastic, positive and energetic. He keeps trying. I'm relieved. I'm happy and it makes me smile.

I love him very much. He means the World to me. I've never felt this way with anyone. So I hope one day that there is someone who can see his potential. Seed won't turn out to be needing a rehab. He will be able to help people in rehab and who are lost in their lives. His story can. I believe.