My boyfriend, Seed, writes. He wants to be a professional writer. He is a writer. He just hasn't had the opportunity that other lucky and talented writers had. Seed writes his memoir. What makes his life so interesting that should be written? His life. His challenging life.
Everyone has his or her own challenges in lives. I do too. My boyfriend has lived his life surrounded by liars, lying family members. At he was age 45, he found that his parents who died from Big C, were not his real parents at all. He found out that his oldest sister is his mother. He still has not found out about his father. He tells me that he always felt that there was something missing in his life. Something that does not make sense. Obviously, he's lived in his square life, constantly striving to fit into the round hold of people in general. Am I making any sense? :)
Seed is a good person. A genuine, loving, caring and kind person to everyone. He does not judge people by outside. Since I met him, I have seen him waking up at 4:30 in the morning everyday, come home by 1 or 2 in the afternoon. As soon as he comes home, he changes his clothes and sit down at his computer and edit and edit and edit his book. He had a writers' conference that hosted by a Vancouver based publisher. He paid $600. He thought it would be worth to spend money. I agreed. When he came back, he was full of disappointment. He came home with a big paper that was filled with thoughts in Sharpies. Brainstorming. I asked him that if he was in an ESL class. He was the only person who had a whole story written. Others only had ideas and thoughts. He told me that there was a lady who wanted to publish a book about her husband, who had Leukemia. He respected that she must had a tremendous courage and strength to write about her husband, slowing fading. I thought it was unfair. I thought she should spend more time with her husband rather than trying to stay away from her husband, hoping to finish a story that might be published. He is still alive. She should focus her love and energy into him not a story. A story can be written at anytime but her husband lives once.
While Seed has been spending so much time to edit his book, he had many frustrations, emotionally and financially. I wish I had rich Chinese parents so that I could just make his path straight and easier. However, we both were just regular, striving people, hoping for a chance. He spent about $7,000 to be edited by a professional, formal college professor. The editor was very encouraging. Almost too encouraging and over praising Seed's work so that I often doubted her purpose of sweet rhetoric. But there was no choice but trusting her words and go further. Go ahead. No time to doubt and hesitate for the dream. That is what Seed did. He finished his editing after 4 months of time, energy, emotion consuming efforts. I am extremely proud of him. He, at the same time, work at his job as a sales and promotion manager in a labour agency. Everyday, he was threatened by drug addict construction daily workers and came home to work on his dream.
All I could do was to bring him tea and snacks in between. English is not my first language so I couldn't even read his work and give him critiques. But I read his story 4 times. Whenever he finished an edit, I read. Recently there was a frustrating news. When he visited the publisher who offered a paid-writers'-conference, he found out that the lady got her book published. Her book? Her book about a dying husband with Leukemia. She had the most bright smile on her face holding a book with a cover of themselves, her husband and herself. How irony. What is she smiling at for?
I am not saying that she should live a sad, depressed, assisting life only for her husband. But I don't think that it is fair that she had a chance to publish her book because her husband happened to have Leukemia. When she came to the conference, she had no idea how to write a book; however, she brought herself there to tell the publisher that her husband is dying and it is worth to write as a book and publish. I see a clear market for this book. But really? What is her intention? Not for me to judge but less than a year, her book's been published. She surely didn't have to keep writing stories and re-organize, edit, recreate stories, edit and more edit. Oh! and do not forget about writing a query letter to catch the eyes of critical agencies. I still remember the publisher's business woman. When Seed handed his naive query letter to her she gave a huge fake smile giving Seed a misinterpreted understanding that she might be interested in his story. At the end of the book fair, Seed told me that he wanted to go talk to the lady one last time. We did. Seed asked about her opinion on the query letter that he gave her. That fucking snobby bitch told Seed that "oh! I did't read it. You got your query letter wrong right off the bat!" Are you fucking kidding me? I wanted to spit on that ugly old face but instead I tried to stay calm and not surprised. However, she offered to come to a conference. She told us that it will cost $600 for two days of conference. I didn't know that it was what publishers do but Seed agreed to attend. He did. But no luck.
Now he is writing a query letter. The most frustrating process before you even get a change to publish your book. He gave up on writing and editing many times. He's been working on his change to tell stories for about 5 years now. Still no chance. Not even close. Good story does not lead to good and happy ending result.
My Sister is My Mom. (The truth that set me free)
I want this book to be published and give people positive hopes that life is worth to live and strive for. Seed has proved by trying to survive and fit into now and people. He is still trying. His story is still playing. I want my love to be recognized and rewarded. Not for money or fame but to purely be heard. His story is powerful. He is a kind person. I want him to be happy and there is not much I can do. It frustrates me but I believe that Seed will keep trying. I love.
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기